Deep down

It looked so neat
when I stood upon my feet.
You knew I followed the rules
and I saw the hints and clues.
I was the one who they used as a model
as religious and faithful to seek my counsel.
Deep down they never saw it,
I was broken.

It looked so perfect
when they stopped to say I should be the prefect.
You all saw the laughter in more words
joy, smile, happiness and all sort that had cords.
I was the one who gave them guides and opinions
even if it tore their eyes like onions.
Deep down they never saw it,
I was worried.

It looked like company
when I had girls and friends that were so many.
You all saw the boredom that was ash
around and far from me my moods had no tags to hash.
I was the one who brought them life
in a bottle or some papers, in words that pierced like a knife.
Deep down they never saw it,
I was lonely.

It looked like I could face anything
with my arms, no weapon or sort of armory thing.
You all saw me workout to face wild
works from cursed lips, my judgment never mild.
I was the one who always led them to fight
whether in the rain, or sun, day or night.
Deep down they never saw it,
I was frightened.