Why I Do Not Love…


I said I do since I was arrested by the ‘arrester’ to arrest some things.
This journey of self righteousness has just begun.
I will be perfect. I will pray and fast even if I get to be fast while saying my prayer.

Side by side I read my Bible, jotting pleasing Scriptures before yanking off what played guilt in my life. Itching ears got me smiling when songs of Solomon read a love song and promised to hold me in my imperfections.
Don’t take me to the book of Revelations, it can deliver some bad gospel, so let me be comfortable in His Psalms.

Why I do not love him? After you dump me in the refuse of sin, found my bones then crushed them with gnashing goose. Let this subject roll out and play itself.

Before I got to the demonstration of how I wore filthy rags, this demon disguised a curve, looking straight it’s obvious he is not straight that is why he loves gays.

This beginning obviously had an end. But in between there is a Moses to my Hebrew fatigue. No pile of baloney! Credulous stability! Oh the Enemy disarmed but got scheming strategies that causes a phantasmagoria to the covenant children. He knows me more than I know my self so he is not playing dead, neither is he folding his arms. He knows how to dangle the keys of death and make it seem life is in Moses’ rod. Gives you ignorance and takes wisdom. A full mansion that has a table prepared before him, but since he doesn’t want to wash the plate, he takes the meal and gives you the plate. I can’t love him. My weakness, he coddled…woe into his coven.

Now take me to the book of Revelations. Let my heart be wrapped in his letters, letters that breathe life, most importantly breathe God. Let Romans play a huge role in my romance, following the principle from word to letter and counting numbers. Let Genesis take a hold of my relationship down to where Ezekiel gave life to dry bones. Let me love the one who wishes me well. Let me choose who chose me first. – Rachel Charles
Why I do not love her? I do not love her for her package. Front and back labels can be nice but this fly chooses to perch higher.
No, its not the lips either. Oh, they are luscious and bold. And those eyes…have you seen those eyes? They are like globes. They are entire worlds I could get lost in.
Her features are exquisite. She is pure work of art. Beauty? She defines it and I like it. No! That does not say it. I’m delighted by it.
Curves like that blend of smooth and warm in just the right places.
You can bet on it. I’m captivated. Still that is not why I love her.
Hold…hold it! I do not love her for what is on the inside either. She is kind, she’s nice. She is fire like a hurricane. She can be chills like the harmattan. Humor like a favorite blanket and a bright mind like a live wire, but…that is not why I love her.
I love her because she inspires me to step up to the choice. I see her. Now I know her and also know I couldn’t live without her. She presents herself and in those moments I know I am willing, no, eager to give the best of me for the best for her.
I love her exclusively. Beyond the grasp of reason. Beyond the power of dissuasion. Beyond death or life. Beyond what can be seen and what I can not see. All those curves and edges blind. “Nothing can separate [her] from [my] love.”
I welcome responses but they are no yardstick. I’m candlestick lit up at both ends. Nothing she does can earn it. Nothing she does can lose it. They are not why I love her. I love her because I choose it.-Seun
That night confirmed it. That night became my deliverer.
He proved my suspicions true.
17:00, the exact time my breath ceased, heart skipped and my head swelled.
When I saw them both,
not just together but ‘two clenched hearts’ lips locked, body entwined, one on top the other.
God knows, I was confused, mad, name it.
I felt heartbroken and stupid.
I should have listened to Lucy. Though she spoke from jealousy for he was her favourite emotion, I should have listened.
The simple answer to your question… No! not anymore.
I do not love him!- Silvia.
He, the heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh, love of my life, my prince charming in shining armor. I fit perfectly into his rib cage with glee written all over me that was contagious.
Those were just hopes and wishes, “if only wishes were horses” I’d be happy by his side, loving him in all the ways I could.

I painted this perfect picture of him in my mind, handsome, gentle, humble… the list goes on, in my head. He wasn’t anything close to what I have envisioned, maybe the direct opposite. He was rich and arrogant. Money to him makes the world go round. Women he took as accessories to be picked, used and dumped at will. Bent on being an exception, I resulted to rebellion which led to destruction without hope for redemption.

Broken in a million ways, hoping for better days, eyes flooding always, shattered like a broken class, from my reflection I flee, living in fear of what may come, praying for this to pass, to be finally free. Do you still ask why I do not love him?-Hijab Gurl

This is how it plays out. Lemme lend a piece of my heart to you since its in pieces so it won’t matter if he’d taken a piece
So I watch me give him the largest piece of the puzzle piece which was to complete me.
The piece was large enough because I thought we were both broken and we’d perfect fix each other but you lied.
So you addressed her as a friend but I wasn’t friend enough so you put my future in her hands.
I don’t love you because you are the cut short breathe I always breath, a poison I drink often without any antidote. A faded smile of my broken heart. He made me feel crazy, I thought I was losing my mind. So yet again we camouflaged and traded feelings for cheaper hearts. And faded my smile for a humorless laugh.- Hypermind
She is dandy
My hands are too clumsy
I tend to squash everything
I am like a stone from a careless sling
Unguided, surfing the wind
Scouting for something to crash in
I am lost on this 2 faced coin
Without pain, yet I can hear myself groan.
I itch to love her
Yet I must not love her
I must keep her from harm
I must undo her spell with a more potent charm

She shines like she just kissed the sun
But I’m just a fabric woven wrong
In my head, many voices
In my heart, competing choices.
My conscience is growing spikes
When I make to take a hike
They prick
I make to stick around
They prick even more l found
My conscience keeps pulling and pushing
Like I am swinging on a rusty swing
“Take a stand
Take a stand”
For sure it can’t be “stick around”
But the road away is a mountain too-hard-to-surmount.

She stands like a perfectly carved sculpture
I fear my hands will cause her a fracture
I cannot love her
Yes! I must not love her
I must hurt me to safe her
Much as my being desires and craves her.
I am a wrong chord on a perfect symphony
I am the spikes that make her path thorny.

She is Miss perfect
I am Mr Imperfect
Different ends of the same rope
She is a beautiful smile
I am an ugly frown
Different ends of a shark infested ocean
She is a sun rise
I am a sunset
Different sides between a bottomless pit.
That is why I cannot love. Tee2emm

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