What i fear

I fear that I am afraid of me
I’m my heavy sighs and my fastest pants
I’m afraid I don’t know me
And can’t come to know all of me.
To me, I am book without cover.
Pages without numbers
Chapters without titles.

I am afraid that this time darkness covers light
Each time I peep in to see
How deep my heart digs from the top,
I’m afraid I can’t reach this depth
For darkness covers my heart.

I’m afraid that the friend I
died for yesterday
I would rise to stab in the back, today
The heart of a man I carry with my love
I would only climb that far to drop it from on high
The mama I kiss her feet,
I may stand tomorrow and on her face I’d spit.

I fear me and what’s inside me
I fear I may change permanently
It showed up once,
I’m scared it may show up again
If it happens again, I’d grab the feet of the Master

Tochi