Indifference

This is not a new drug
I have since learnt how to unplug
Like an addict on a steady overdose
Involuntary is how I plead
My system needs it more than my mind
To feel normal I become unbothered
Once I see a hospital bed
It’s like the space before the final goodbye
Or another welcome
Something I’m not ready to tell
A silent hell
I have a long list of names
A smell that still lingers
Enough memorabilia to remind me
So, anything to forget
As my favourite cousin withers
As empathy streams from strangers
I can’t help but not to feel
To be detached
Numb!

Vera