Read: Forlorn | Oluwadamilola Agboola

I may be broken, I may have hurt myself
I may have lived my life as somebody else
Lost my way in a maze inside my head
I’m as strong as my weakest end
I fall as hard as I have tried to stand
I’m not perfect, I strive to be
But hopeless, sometimes I feel
Whole, am I? I don’t know.
Win, will I? It doesn’t show.
But I’ll hold the fort
Loose the race against time? I hope not.
Blinded by the truth I have failed to see
Drowning in the tears that drag my feet
Hurt! My reality is hurting me
Days, nights, my dreams are hunting me
Concede defeat? Maybe then I’ll live
Life may get better without setting standards
These words are true but invalid like a drunkard’s
Because everyday I wake up, I shuffle between masks
Undecided, thinking too loud
Feeling singled out of a big crowd
Judged, maimed like a cow
Sometimes, to life, I want to take a bow
And exit this body that holds me bound
My eyes above me with my feet on the ground
Faces surround me, each wearing a frown
I notice how they smirk when I just want to be a bird
Fly like a kite without a fear of the tide
I may pretend that I don’t mind
How they say my name behind the blinds
But I care
I dare to say I’m sometimes trapped in your snare
And today, my brave face is just a face
Behind a bleeding soul inside its case
Dear God, next time, can I be a flower in a vase?
In a place where someone will water me
Religiously, nurture me
As if I were real, a real human being
Or maybe a human being still
But with a soul mate on cue
One and maybe two
If I’m asked to choose
Can they be a Jew?
And I a jewel
Worn around like a priceless locket
Or in a photograph in their left breast pocket
We be like paint on a wall
Could I ask that they stood tall
In love with me, I’d rather they walked
I don’t fancy a fall very much
That’s how people get hurt
Falling in love is not a sport
Could they not toss me around like discuss
Or end it with me like an academic course
Wishful thinking that one be willing
To see my soul truly
And be further strong enough to keep me
Most of all, dear Lord, can you keep me ready?

 

© Oluwadamilola Agboola

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